Walks. There were many of them. It all started on a Halloween night. I was doing a load of wash and was putting it into the dryer. Rebekah walked in carrying a top that needed to be dried. I asked if she would like to put it in with my clothes and she agreed. A few minutes later she returned and asked if I'd like to take a walk to the grocery store. It was only about a mile away and I didn't feel like dishing candy out to trick-or-treaters. I figured that it would be great exercise.
The walk was pretty uneventful. We made small talk about nothing of any significance. When we got to the store, she had to use the ATM machine. I stood a few feet back, but noticed she glanced over her shoulder a couple of times at me. Was she worried that I was sneakily gathering her personal information? Yeah, right. Was she checking to see if I was "checking her out"? Oh, please.
She gathered a couple of bags full of groceries and I did the gentlemanly thing; I offered to carry them home for her. She accepted and we made our way home with more small talk along the way. This would later become a tongue in cheek joke for me.
We went for walks most of the nights for the next two weeks. She walked at a faster pace than me, so she was usually in front as I trailed behind at a slower pace. Whenever she realized she was too far in front, she would slow down until I got close then resumed her pace. Needless to say, we did very little talking until we got close to home when she would let me catch up to her. Was this just a time where she had someone to walk with? Was I some type of bodyguard or escort for her? I always looked at these walks to be a way to unwind and enjoy the outdoors, but it seemed more like just exercise to her.
Like other things between us, the walks stopped suddenly, with no explanation or reason. So I thought I'd knock on her door one evening to see if she wanted to go for a walk. There was no answer, so I went for a walk by myself. I tried it again the next evening with the same result.
So I thought I'd try giving her a call the next evening. She answered and after I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, she said I was coming around her door too often, just like a "puppy dog". Well that was a fine how-do-you-do! I recalled that she was the one for the last two weeks that came to me asking if I would like to go on walks. Now she was trying to insult me by calling me a "puppy dog". Initially, I did take it as that, but then I started thinking about the attributes of a "puppy dog".
I realized that dogs are very loyal. That was me. Dogs are very loving. You can yell at them one minute and they go scurrying, but moments later they will be back ready to lick you and play with you. They forgive easily. That's what I strive for. They don't give up. Dogs have been known to remain by the side of their dead masters. I've been known to be that way. Was she really complimenting me? C'mon. It's like God had turned what was meant for evil into good.
After a hiatus of about three months guess what? Yeah, she came knocking on my door to see if I would go for a walk with her. I told her that she was nuts to think I would go for a walk with her after the way she treated me. Not really. I did the friendly thing and went for a walk with her.
Several weeks later I was getting tired of the insignificant small talk. I was conducting business as BOB Delivery Service. BOB stood for Beast Of Burden because it seemed that a lot of the times we went for walks, we'd end up at a grocery store and I'd be carrying the goods back home. So during one of our walks when we were heading home with stuff from the grocery store I asked her,"If you could change one thing, what would it be?"
Without hesitation she said, "My parents."
I just about fell over. She described her relationship, if you could call it that, with her parents. There was hurt and pain in her heart. There was a major chasm not only with them, but also with her only sister.
It finally made sense. I now began to understand the emotional disconnect in her life. She was protecting her heart from any more damage. Now I was another threat to her. I was her friend but it would be difficult for her to be mine. Becoming close would be difficult at best. This would overshadow anything we would do in the future.
To be continued...
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