Remember, Repent, Repeat

I'll be the first to admit that I really blew it when it comes to my former marriage. This morning though, I again felt the forgiving love of my Father during the message at my church's worship service. I sensed that this was advice that He was giving me to prepare me for the impossible that I'm praying for.

I had my part in letting my marriage become stale and miserable. My marriage got to the point that it was like way too old bread and mold was growing on my marriage. I broke my marriage vows to my bride. Instead of keeping her the love of my life, my daughters became that. I always wanted to do family activities. I didn't make time for just me and my bride. I always thought that we could get back to that once the girls grew up and moved out of the house. I was wrong.

There were three things that I could have done that may have made things fresh and wonderful and save my marriage:

• Take my bride out on a date once a week
• Affirm my bride ten times a day
• Take a three day, two night vacation once a year

When things got stale, I needed to have remembered what I did when she consented to be my bride. We spoke to each other on the phone almost daily about the events of our day. We would go out to the movies or to grab a meal on Friday nights and weekends. We spent time sitting in my car just talking.

I always made it a point to compliment her about something; her hair, the perfume she was wearing, the clothes she was wearing. She received praise for her successes and consolation for her failures. I told her as, often as I could remember, that I loved her.

When I first got to know her, I discovered that her aunt and uncle lived in the same town that my family lived in about a hundred miles north of us. So periodically, we would drive up on a Friday and spend the weekend with either her relatives or my family, and visit the other. That carried over to when we had our daughters as well.

If I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently? Definitely. Would it have saved my marriage? I don't know.

September 9, 2009 was a considered a lucky day for people to get married. I've targeted October 10, 2010 to be the culmination of my impossible prayer and be a day of blessing from God. Right now, it seems impossible. Exactly!

Thank you, Kenton Beshore, for letting God speak through you.